I spent last weekend in Carbondale with Clint. There isn't a Mennonite church family there so I got stared at a lot. I look different. Usually it doesn't bother me, but it did last weekend. The being stared at isn't really what bothered me. It's the image given to me by fake Amish TV shows, the assumption that I am Amish, and the misunderstanding of why I do what I do. I like to be understood. When people assume things about me, be it willful, or because of lack of knowledge, well, I don't like it. I don't think any of us do. All of us like the innocent until proven guilty mindset, which interestingly enough very few people actually live out.
I guess, what really came to me over this weekend is how much I care about what people think about me/how they perceive me and how that really boils down to pride, and pride boils down to sin.
I want them to think well of me. I want them to look at me and understand me. I want to be loved. I want them to think I'm cool. I want their approval and acceptance.
I was really upset to discover that in myself because I have tried to conquer that so many times, I really thought I was living in victory. To discover that it's raising its' ugly head again. Well, it really upset me. It means I have once again allowed the world and its mindset into my life. I have taken my eyes off Jesus, turned them onto people and myself.
Jesus was not well-accepted. The Pharisees thought He wasn't religious enough, other people thought He was too religious, or required too much. He said He was not of this world thus the world hated Him. Jesus promised that His followers would be hated and persecuted just like He was.
People from His home town rejected Him, the Jews, his special people, rejected him. The Pharisees hated Him, twisted His words, plotted to kill Him. His own disciple betrayed Him for some silver. He is God and was treated horrifically Who am I to think I deserve any better? The early church welcomed mistreatment and hatred. They sang as they were sent to their death because they shared the suffering of their Lord. Why do I think that as a follower of Christ I should be treated better than He was? Ridiculous.
The Gospel of Christ will look ridiculous to people who are of the world. I can expect to be hated and misunderstood when I take a stand for truth. I can expect to be stared at, thought odd, too conservative, or not conservative enough when I dress the way I feel God has asked me to dress. I will be persecuted if I follow Christ.
But I will have Christ. And that, that is worth it all. If I keep my eyes trained on my Lord, the hatred, mistreatment, willful misunderstanding "will fade away in the light of His Glory and Grace."
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