I am listening to a series called “Transformed” by Keith Moore. It’s about renewing your mind, how we can control what we think about and how we do not have to dwell on each thought that comes to our mind. It’s been really interesting to me. I have been walking through life as though I am a victim to whatever happens to show up in my mind. In my mind I have thought that “well you just never know. . . you can’t be too confident in winning a battle because that’s pride. . . don’t get mowed over by that positive thinking mumbo jumbo because it’s just that mumbo jumbo. . .” I have been living the Christian life as though I am a defeated warrior and thinking that that’s the spiritual way to live. Somehow I decided that God doesn’t really think that we will win the battles, I mean yes He wants us to but it’s kind of like just do your best and if you lose than you lose, you know you’re only human, better luck next time. I have thought that I had no control about what I think about and what I dwell on. I made doubt and anxiety into some kind of holy act. Honestly my life has been lived with a victim complex. It’s wrong. I am not a victim. I do have a choice in each battle I face, each thought I entertain. I can be confident that every battle has already been won not by me but by my God. I can believe that I WILL overcome everything I face because HE says so. It’s not an if or maybe, it is a promise. It doesn’t say they may overcome, or they might overcome, it says “they OVERCAME him by the blood of the Lamb”. It doesn’t say you might be a conqueror or could maybe be a conqueror, it says “in ALL these things you are MORE than CONQUERORS through Him Who loved us.”
I am learning so much but I still fail. In fact, I let satan ruin the better part of my day today. I didn’t throw out the lies that he popped into my head. You see you might not be able to keep a bird from flying overhead, but you CAN keep it from building a nest in your hair. I let him build a nest in my hair today. The whole thing of “did he really say that, brittany?? are you sure you can be confident in always gaining the victory?? are you sure this isn’t just a bunch of positive thinking mumbo jumbo that you are trying to temporarily fix you?? are you sure it isn’t just wishful thinking??” and the one that even sounds kind of spiritual, “are you believing the truth or is this belief (confidence in Christ) a lie that you just want to believe/allowing yourself to be deceived?” Guess what, there I was under his thumb again. He had me. But I don’t have to stay there. I can look at him and say, “God will keep me in PERFECT peace if my mind is stayed on him, if I am thinking pure thoughts, if I am not worrying about anything but praying about everything, if I am thinking true thoughts. . . I WILL HAVE peace. I am experiencing anxiety and fear right now so that must mean the thoughts you want me to think are lies and lead to death. I will not think them. I will overcome. I am more than a conqueror. I am overcoming you because Jesus came to DESTROY the works of the devil and guess what, HE LIVES IN ME. You are destroyed. You will NOT have my mind. I do not have to live in defeat! The JOY of the Lord is my strength. Not fearful thoughts, not thoughts of defeat, HIS JOY!! The thoughts that bring me JOY & PEACE are God thoughts, these thoughts/doubts are your thoughts, lies. I choose to think His thoughts!” I wish it were a little easier sometimes, my flesh is so weak and sometimes it doesn’t want me to put up a fight. I overthink everything, I want to know that I am right before I move forward so doubt is very real to me. I don’t have a lot of confidence in my ability to know God’s will for me because I mean, really I just might accept something that just feels good to believe about God and isn’t actually truth. Where I came up with the idea that God wants me to be miserable I don’t know. . . My circumstances might not be great but God gives His children JOY not sorrow. Peace not fear. I have so far to go yet. . . but thankfully, He who began this work in me, WILL complete it.
