I have a confession to make.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I have wanted all the happy and nice sounding things in the Bible, you know--Heaven, the Jesus who heals, peace, love, joy, etc. I have wanted nothing to do with the tough things--the Jesus who picked up a whip and threw out the money changers, persecution ad being hated, Hell, being on Satans' destruction list, death to my flesh. I am a flabby Christian, a 'holy' wimp.
My Jesus is a mixture of those two 'lists'. He is a God who will reward people with Heaven or Hell depending what they choose to do with life. He is the God who gives peace and joy, but also promises that His children will be hated and persecuted. My Jesus is Truth and Love. He was crucified, hated by the ones He came to save, and gave no ground to sin.
I like the Jesus who patted the children on the head, opened blind eyes, said nice things about peace and love. I have for most of my life avoided the Jesus who took the whip and chased sin out of the temple, the Jesus who called the Pharisees white washed sepulchers, the Jesus who promised being hated and persecuted, the Jesus who allowed no excuses for sin.
God, forgive me.
The sad things is I have been aware of the fact what we call Christianity today, isn't the Christianity of the New Testament church, the Christianity taught by Jesus. In fact, I have known this for at least 5 years. I have even written about it. But I have never addressed the wimp that lives inside of me.
I have wanted to stand up for truth but still wanted to be liked and appreciated. In fact, I have gotten angry when people mistreated me because I took a stand for what God's word says. I have wanted Jesus, but also wanted friends. I want Jesus, but I also want people to like me. I want Jesus, but I also want to be comfortable. I
can't expect both. At least not if I wish to have a health, vibrant relationship with God. My relationship with God as to die or my flesh has to die. I have tried to serve both and it does not work.
Choosing Jesus means--I welcome the hatred and persecution. It means I must to the desires to be comfortable, wealth, and loved. It means I am no longer my won. God is the one who makes my decisions. It means peace beyond any understand. It means joy in tough times, strength when I am weak. It means to hope of eternity with the One who loves me completely. It means life has a purpose and meaning.
Choosing me means-- I will be free to pursue the love and appreciation of others. It means my comfort is first and foremost in my mind. It means tough times will come and be survived. It means being weak and insecure. It means my future will be 'always separated from God'. Putting me in charge means a life spent pursuing what I want.
Who will you choose, Brittany?
Surely there is no hesitation. I choose Jesus all over again. Even in the midst of my failings and selfish endeavors, He has never failed me or let me down. He gives my life meaning and hope. He being in control gives me no need to worry or fear. Sure, people may hate me, write me nasty letters, say horrible things behind my back or to my face. But that really is nothing, nothing at all in comparison to knowing Jesus. Being liked by people or, being completely known and loved by Jesus? Oh no, there is no hesitation. I choose Him.
God, forgive me for trying to serve two masters.
it's SPRING!!!!!!!
Best. M&M's. Ever.
Clint and I went to Ouray on his bike (not of the pedal variety) It was great fun. :) The frothy goodness in the pictures before this one was bought on this adventure. :)
Here we are looking a bit more 'normal'.
toting the little 'princess' around on our shopping trip
She was delighted to be with me, I promise. ;)
trying out french fries for the first time.
she wasn't impressed.
she liked her winter squash baby food much, much better. :)
the 'pixie' who takes bites as big as she is.
unfortunately she does not give towels with her showers.
Cheers for 'long distance-texting-coffee-prayer meetings'!!
May you have a joy-filled week!!!!
Brittany
