Avienne Hope

Avienne (Ah-vee-en) Hope 

arrived August 20, at 12:20 am.

She weighed 6 lb and 2 oz, length 18 inches

a bit of reality: We are delighted with our new little girl. That being said it hasn't all been roses. I developed a pretty nasty case of postpartum depression. The fear, tears, and darkness are awful. Thankfully we caught it pretty early and I have gotten medication for it. I was prepared for a rough first week but I wasn't prepared for that kind of rough. Since I am already on medication for depression I just thought I would be safe from ppd. That hasn't been the case. I am so grateful to all the people who are praying us through this time, to the people who have been bringing meals, to my mom who has been keeping my house clean and tidy, not to mention all the words of comfort she speaks to my heart, to my aunt who is the person that made me aware of the fact that I could have ppd and got me to call my Dr, to a lady named Joanna, whom I have never even met, for her words of encouragement and her wisdom about ppd, to my sweet friends who have put up with my texts and had the courage to continue loving me and caring for me, to my sweet husband who calm reassurances have helped keep me sane.  

I know so often we paint our lives to look so perfect. That somehow we have it all together. Where only a few people really know who we really are. I was doing that. . . because I felt so guilty for being at this place AGAIN.  For putting my husband and daughter through this AGAIN. For struggling through the darkness and fear AGAIN. It was brought to my attention when someone said something along the lines of 'it just looks like you're doing so good and don't need help' and I was humbled, made aware that I was hiding again. Hiding is so unhealthy for me. And beings I made a commitment to be real a long, long time ago, I thought I should be honest. Hard times often get swept under the rug. I don't want to be guilty of that. So this is me being real. This is me asking for help. I could really use your prayers. Satan loves my depression. He can get me to believe pretty much anything when the darkness comes. And he's been winning. I discovered it today and I want to reverse that. I want him to lose. So your prayers in that area would be so precious and so appreciated. Please pray for Clint and Avi too. I know this is wearing on my sweet husband and child. If you do pray for us, I want to thank you in advance. I know we need them and it's wonderful to know that there are people standing behind us in prayer!!!!