the battle continues

I don't know what to write today. Except for: I am so tired of feeling like this. So ready for healing to be complete. To feel like myself again. But depression doesn't work like that. It's all 'one day at a time' until suddenly you realize you are better. I know there has been improvement already but I'm still not whole. I still face fears and tears. I still wake up each morning knowing that it's going to be a battle all day long, go to bed at night exhausted and knowing that I get to do it all again tomorrow. It's hard. I am weary and feel beaten. I want it to be over. Heaven looks so beautiful.

The battle continues.

I am thankful that Avi is so strong. She seems to be very unaffected by her mother's turmoil. She sleeps and grows just like any other newborn. So so grateful for that.

I am thankful for my 'maid' Heidi. She is a life saver!! Takes Avi for me at night so I can focus on healing my brain at night with sleep.

I am thankful for my sweet husband. Who prays with me over and over. Who keeps me calm and reminds me that it won't always be this way.

I am thankful that this really is only a season. Healing is coming. I will get better.